The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
