she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
