That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
