Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
