ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
