Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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