U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize