Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
