I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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