Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
