somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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