I think scott just propositioned me for sex
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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