So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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