I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
