I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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