I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Screwed.edu
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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