me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
