There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
