forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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