He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
