For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
