Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
