Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
