glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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