I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
