cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
