I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
