Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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