Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize