shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
