am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
