Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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