i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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