i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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