the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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