It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
