While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize