Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
