just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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