i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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