Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
