so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
