The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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