i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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