lets start a swedish sibling band together
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
