garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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