once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
