Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
