My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
