Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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