Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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