everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
