with your own penis?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
