There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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