Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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