You don't have asthma, your pregnant
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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