I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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