I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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