Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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