Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He? As in you personified your dick?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
