if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and she was petting her beer can
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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