her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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