it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
