you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
