we have officially lost it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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