I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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