omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
