I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
