The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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