She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
