omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
